when loved ones pass away, one way the universe comforts us is through those that were also close to them, especially siblings. My mother had a sibling named Rosie. I believe they were roughly 5 years apart. Unfortunately when my mom passed awayM
y March 2004 although my aunt came down to South Carolina to help clean out my mother's final dwelling place in Surfside Beach condo that she lived in in her final months, shortly thereafter after a series of phone calls, most which I placed myself to her. I found myself wanting to know if she would also call me. So subsequent weeks I refrain from calling and then the calls stopped altogether. I remember it being a very sad time for me roughly in 2005 when most if not all of the communication between us came to an abrupt halt. Weeks turned into months and months turned into years and an entire decade went by without any communication between my aunt and I. I cannot express the pain this cost me emotionally as my aunt Rosie was the last connection I had to my mother. I had high Hopes though... my husband and I built on a bonus room section of our home complete with its own bathroom and privacy and patio I had often asked my aunt to come down to the beach.... I know she loved the ocean so.... But each invitation countered by a decline and after some time I no longer asked. I discovered subsequently that she did make a trip to California to see her cousin which again I rebuffed that hurt me. But I have learned in my twenties a coping mechanism for relationships and friendships in which one wants more than the other or one is more committed than the other.... I learned early on to just let it go and carry the pain but not to hold the person liable person... just let it go I said to myself all those years, more than a decade truth be told.
Christmas 2017, familiar handwriting get strange to see in my mailbox I received a card from my aunt Rosie. I eagerly opened it up hoping to see at least a small paragraph of sentiment. But there was nothing just a handwritten signature underneath the Hallmark text. It was something. Better than silence. The hope and anticipation of opening the envelope was soon replaced by yet more disappointment by the reflection of the card mirroring the silent so we had between each other. I had always always helped did she would have become a sort of surrogate mother, not to ever be able to replace my mother but to soften the pain of losing her. So in essence I feel as if I've lost my mother twice.... No actually three times... I lost my mother first by her brain disease which caused her after 3 months to no longer recognize who I was or respond to anything I was saying in her last final months of life, to be finalized by her actual physical death and then I lost my mother the third time beat her sister Rosie.
If you are reading this please do not misconstrue the centre of my emotions as feeling sorry for myself.... I am merely expressing myself.,Especially since we as humans are so used to going through an experience not fully grasping the details of it and moving on with life. Time goes on our memory Wayans and our entire lives then become one big canvas of events instead of painted. Of things that we've gone through.
aunt Rosie passed... Sunday Apr 15 2018, 11:41pm call from Marcus
